Lelouch and Bruce's Eccentric Past
by Windrises
Summary: Lelouch shows C. C. more of his goofy adventures.


Note: Code Geass is owned by Sunrise. Batman is owned by DC Comics and was created by Bill Finger and Bob Kane.

Lelouch Lamperouge, also known as Zero, had been having arguments with C. C. She often complained about Lelouch eating expired food, throwing valuable stuff out the window, and causing lots of trouble. Lelouch said "I'm going to prove to you that I've been a very charming guy recently. In fact I think it'll prove that you love me more than anything."

C. C. asked "What's your plan?"

Lelouch said "I'm going to show you my next video tape."

C. C. asked "Why do you record every event of your life?"

Lelouch said "To prove to other people that I'm the most awesome dude ever." Lelouch put the video tape in the tape player while C. C. rolled her eyes.

The tape started with the time Lelouch worked at a pizza place. C. C. walked in and said "Hi Lelouch."

Lelouch replied "You said that you were going to wait at home."

C. C. responded "I was going to, but I've been waiting for too long."

Bruce Wayne tapped Lelouch on the head and said "You've ordered more pizzas here than any other customer."

Lelouch replied "Well she's the one that eats them."

Bruce said "Well I have a really good business deal for you."

Lelouch asked "What is it?"

Bruce said "If you become my new cook your girlfriend can have pizzas for free."

Lelouch replied "Okay. I think that I have the potential to be the best cook ever."

Bruce whispered "Don't tell anybody that I'm going to pay you under the minimum wage."

Lelouch replied "Okay."

C. C. said "Cook me a pizza. My stomach has been grumbling for like a half hour."

Lelouch went into the kitchen. He said "First I need the dough. I think that bread is dough." Lelouch got out a big piece of bread. He said "Next I'll put the pepperoni on it." He threw a bunch of pieces of pepperoni on the bread. He said "Oh. I need to put cheese on it." Lelouch went into the kitchen and grabbed some cheddar cheese. He cut the cheddar cheese into lots of slices and threw the slices onto the bread. He said "It seems like I put on everything the pizza needs. I'm proud of myself for learning all of those steps so fast. I better put the pizza in the oven." He put the "pizza" into the oven. He wasn't sure what temperature the pizza should be cooked at so he randomly picked two hundred degrees.

Lelouch started tap dancing around the cashier stand. He said "Hi C. C."

C. C. asked "What's the update on the pizza?"

Lelouch proudly said "You don't have to worry about that at all. I made a very tasty looking pizza. I learned how to make it really fast. It's in the oven right now. It's going to be one of the tastiest things in the history of creation."

C. C. replied "You're the prince of exaggerated self compliments."

Bruce walked up to Lelouch and asked "How's your first cooking mission going?"

Lelouch said "The pizza's in the oven."

Bruce asked "How does the pizza look?"

Lelouch said "It looks like spectacular awesomeness."

Bruce proudly said "That's what people say I look like."

Lelouch replied "You're the prince of exaggerated self compliments."

Bruce responded "You're the prince of new employees that got a pay cut on their first day."

A few minutes later Lelouch went into the kitchen to check on the pizza. He opened the oven and said "It's too warm in there. I better turn down the heater." Lelouch turned down the oven's temperature to one hundred degrees. Lelouch took the "pizza" out of the oven and accidentally dropped it on the floor. Lelouch thought that wasn't a problem, because of the five second rule. He put the "pizza" on a plate. He started dancing out of the kitchen. While he danced the food fell off the plate and landed on the floor. Lelouch said "Well I guess that the five second rule can be used more than once." He put the food back onto the plate.

C. C. asked "Is the pizza ready to be gobbled up by me?"

Lelouch said "Yeah. It's the tastiest looking thing that has ever been made at this pizza place." Lelouch placed the plate with the "pizza" on the table.

C. C. looked at it and said "Throw this April first prank away."

Lelouch replied "This is a fantastic pizza, not a silly prank."

C. C. responded "This is the biggest piece of garbage that I've ever seen on a plate. That's a big statement considering that you have put garbage on plates several times."

Lelouch stubbornly said "It wasn't garbage. It was stuff from the garbage, but the taste wasn't expired."

C. C. replied "I'm sorry my dear, but this piece of trash is so bad that I'm going to have to tell the manager about this." C. C. had the manager come to the table.

Bruce asked "What's wrong?"

C. C. said "I ordered a pizza, but your bumbling cook gave me a disgusting piece of bread that's covered in cheddar cheese. Also it's been on the floor twice. I could have the health inspector sue you for this pathetic attempt at a meal."

Bruce asked "Why did you use bread instead of dough?"

Lelouch said "I thought that bread was dough."

Bruce asked "Why did you use cheddar cheese?"

Lelouch said "The answer to that is pretty obvious."

Bruce replied "Well that answer isn't obvious to me."

Lelouch said "I assumed that you're supposed to throw cheese on the dough."

Bruce asked "Did you drop the pizza on the floor?"

Lelouch said "Yeah, but I have the advantage of the five second rule."

Bruce replied "But the food might not be healthy after it falls on the floor."

Lelouch said "This pizza looks great."

C. C. replied "It's not a pizza. It lacks every single quality that a pizza should have. You're a disgrace to the pizza franchise."

Bruce said "You lack what a cook should have Lelouch."

Lelouch asked "Are you saying that, because I'm not Swedish?"

Bruce replied "I'm only going to give you one more chance. If you mess up again I'll fire you."

C. C. said "Well I'm not going to risk getting poisoned so I'm going to go." C. C. walked out.

The second part of the tape took place when Lelouch Lamperouge and C. C. had been dating for almost a year. Lelouch didn't realize that the one year anniversary was coming up, until the anniversary day. He said "Oh no. Since C. C.'s birthday is coming up soon I have to buy her something special. I barely have anytime to get ready so I'll rush through breakfast and start shopping."

A few minutes later Lelouch into the kitchen. He accidentally crashed into the toaster. Lelouch didn't get hurt, but the toaster crashed to the ground. He said "It'll be harder to make toast now." He put bread into the broken toaster, but it didn't work. Lelouch threw the toaster out the window.

C. C. said "Hi sweetie. What's going on?"

Lelouch answered "I have to go shopping soon." Lelouch started eating some chips.

C. C. said "Chips aren't that great of a choice for breakfast food."

Lelouch replied "They're healthy enough."

C. C. asked "Where's the cereal?"

Lelouch said "The cereal box was too hard to open so I put it in the garbage bin."

C. C. replied "If I didn't love you more than anything I would be mad at you."

Lelouch said "Thank you. I need to hurry. I'll be back sometime during today." Lelouch ran out of the house. He texted Suzaku Kururugi and told him to come to the mall.

A few minutes later Lelouch saw Batman at the mall. Batman asked "What's going on?"

Lelouch said "I've been dating C. C. for almost a year so I have to buy her a fancy present. I hired you to find a present for her. You're a moderately smart person so I'm hoping that you can find the ultimate present for C. C."

Batman replied "You could buy her a new couch since you accidentally ripped the couch apart a few weeks ago."

Lelouch said "A couch would be a too expensive present. Even though I want to get her the ultimate present the price is very essential to what I choose to get."

Batman replied "You could give her some flowers and a gift card."

Lelouch said "Those are weak ideas."

Batman replied "This present idea thing isn't working." Batman walked away.

Lelouch sighed and said "I have to hire someone else to decide the present."

The next part of the tape was about C. C.'s birthday. Lelouch got on his regular outfit and delivered a big bag that had the broken remains of a piano to Suzaku. Lelouch said "I hope you're somewhat proud of me for saving all those pieces."

Suzaku replied "I wish you had been more careful with my piano."

Lelouch said "I'm the opposite of careful. My friends got some great birthday presents for C. C., but I accidentally made the presents drown in the ocean. What should I do to make C. C.'s birthday party somewhat great?"

Suzaku replied "You could have a pleasant and lighthearted day with her."

Lelouch said "That doesn't sound epic and crazy enough, but I'll do it."

A few days later it was C. C.'s birthday. C. C. woke up and was a little excited. She looked around the living room and saw a birthday banner made out of paper towels. The banner was backwards and quickly fell into a bag of cookies.

Lelouch came into the living room with a pizza and said "Hi C. C."

C. C. replied "Hi." She pretty much always felt hungry for pizza so he quickly gobbled up the whole pizza. She said "Maybe I ate more than I should."

Lelouch said "I know you'll want more in like a hour so I already baked you a few more."

C. C. replied "You have filled my stomach with happiness you eccentric gentleman."

Lelouch said "Honestly I messed this birthday up. I had the Black Knights buy you tons of great presents, but I accidentally pushed the presents into a ocean. I'm not that proud of myself this time."

C. C. replied "I never needed those presents Lelouch. What I truly want is to just spend this day with my favorite guy."

Lelouch asked "Is it Batman?"

C. C. stuck her tongue out and said "Yeah right. You're my favorite person in the whole world."

Lelouch felt a little surprised and flattered. He said "Several people have said that to me, but I wasn't expecting you to say that." Lelouch handed C. C. a letter and said "Since I drowned all of your presents on accident I wrote this letter for you. It's a little corny, but I hope that you kind of like it."

C. C. read the letter aloud "C. C. when I first met you I was surprised and eventually became a little annoyed by you. However despite wasting thousands of my dollars on pizza I must admit that I like having you around. You're cool, special, cute, and have pretty good hair. You're super cool and other stuff. Thank you for some stuff you did that I guess I like. Well actually saying guess would seem kind of rude. I'm sure that I like the stuff you've done for me. You're the best. Sincerely, Lelouch Lamperouge."

Lelouch said "I guess that my letter was a little awkward and not as cool as it should be. I'm sorry. I mess up things too often."

C. C. kissed Lelouch and said "Thank you for this day. I know it may seem like you gave me a weird day, but it's the best birthday I've had in years."

Lelouch was surprised, but in a good way. He said "You're welcome. I had a good day too."

C. C. whispered "I love you Lelouch."

Lelouch asked "What did you say?"

C. C. blushed and said "Nothing you need to hear."

After the tape ended Lelouch asked "Does the tape prove how awesome I am?"

C. C. replied "Despite how weird, loopy, lazy, and foolish you are I love you." C. C. tried to kiss Lelouch, but Lelouch didn't feel like kissing. He started running to Bruce Wayne's hip video tape company to start working on his next video tape.


End file.
